Here's what I'm seeing....why is it that when we feel overwhelmed, the first thing we sacrifice is our own self care, oftentimes while rushing into the so-called "care and support" of others? We put ourselves last over and over again. When you really sit down to think about it, this doesn't make sense...how are we supposed to support others adequately when we're not supporting ourselves? And, why is it not okay to take time out for a phone call with a friend, a bubble bath, our favorite tv show or just paging through our favorite magazine?
It also occurs to me that sometimes this happens because we're out of our business. Byron Katie describes this wonderfully on her blog:
Notice when you hurt that you are mentally out of your business.
If you're not sure, stop and ask, "Mentally, whose business am I in?"
There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's.
Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God's business.
Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor's business.
Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because he has an ugly lawn? Your business.
Life is simple—it is internal.
Count, in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else's business mentally. Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion about something (aloud or silently).
Ask yourself: "Am I in their business? Did they ask me for my advice?" And more importantly, "Can I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?"
Being out of our own business is exhausting...if you're exhausted, re-read the above (and I'm typing this as much for me as I am for you.) I'm reminding myself (and you) to be aware, really aware of whether or not you're truly being asked for help/support. Oftentimes (at least in my own life), I've jumped in without being asked and I end up in someone else's business leaving myself abandoned, which leads to resentment, expectation and ultimately exhaustion and frustration. And, the other part of this is that asking truly is asking...it's not hearing someone talk about what's happening in their life and assuming they want help. That is NOT being asked. And, there's nothing wrong with asking them if they need or want your help and then respecting their answer.
Ultimately I realize we're all busy...partners, family, careers and on and on, and in the end who do you really end up with? That would be YOU. You're all you've got, so don't you think it's worth taking a few minutes out of your day to support that most important person of all people? And, if you needed support and help wouldn't you want to call on someone who knows the value of self care?
P.S. Great ways to take care are Reiki, The Work of Byron Katie and ibreathelife Petal Breath Kits!
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